April 12 Update - The Deep Invitation of Loneliness

I am gearing up to release this music to you guys. I have been working so long on it it seems. Every day, trying to finish, trying to make it the best it can be. I have found myself quite stretched recently between many things, trying to do them all well. It is a daily battle to always return to the main heart of life, of my passions, and why I even exist. So often, I can get lost in the results of a venture - the outcomes of a cause - that I forget to be thankful for its simple existence and blessing in my life. I am returning to that this evening, and I should more. 

The album is finished, being mastered at the moment. The band is rehearsing for the show this upcoming Tuesday. I am so thankful for each of them, for stopping their lives to help me out. I feel truly cheered on and supported. I could not have a better band for this show. 

Something that one of my friends said to me yesterday at dinner was so beautiful. He was telling me about the depression he experienced after one of his dreams came true. He told me that he was learning that no dream could ever satisfy. No status, no arrival was ever going to fill his soul. It was so beautiful to me because I realize in those moments how true that statement really is. We spend all of our time, energy, and thoughts on achieving these trophies that turn to dust in our hands. I think this way about music all the time. I think this way about the golden idols we perceive as our futures and dreams. For me its playing cool shows, meeting successful people, getting more opportunities, having a platform. But... It all turns to dust just as quick as it was formed.

When we are confronted with this reality it leaves a hole in our lives that manifest as a heaviness, a purposelessness, and loneliness. But what is different about me now is that I am thankful for these experiences. Loneliness is not equivalent of a failed life or shortcoming socially. Loneliness is not that absence of purpose. Loneliness is an invitation. I was at a conference last month and the speaker said something along the lines of, "Loneliness is the time that God is inviting us into communion with Him that we misinterpret." Wow... how true. Instead of taking on shame for the emptiness we feel, we are to begin to interpret those moments as God pulling us in the whisper and to speak to us. Let the pain of the silence and the awkwardness of the quiet place propel you closer to the Lord, and not away. If it is true that we are never alone, then we can, in the quiet recesses of our souls, be satisfied. And that is amazing. Embrace the quiet.