Update - On Living

Hey guys, thought I'd drop some words down here on the blog to keep everyone in the loop on what has been going on and what's on the horizon. I'm currently waiting for my laundry to finish drying at my friend's house. 

What a few weeks it has been. I moved into a new house, built the studio, led worship in Knoxville with some of my heroes,  and performed and produced a worship album in the new space just last night. It has been go, go go and gift, gift, gift. After a quick rest this afternoon, I am going to begin setting my sights on the upcoming tour, where I will be traveling around the southeast, performing songs from the Andrew Blooms catalog with some of my really good friends. Honestly, it has been such a long time coming that it doesn't even feel like it's about to happen... if that makes sense. The amount of time and effort that has gone into these endeavors always surprise me, because from the outside it is difficult to see. 

On Living - There is something I wrote on a friend of mine's blog the other day and it really stuck with me. Nathan said, "Being alive is worth everything." This idea has echoed deep inside me and has begun to shape so much of how I make decisions and what I value. What I have realized is that it is easy to become dormant in certain areas of our lives - to let our guards down, to compromise, to grow tired, to grow lazy. And while we are technically breathing and walking and living our day to day lives, some part of our hearts - or much of it- falls asleep. But... the process to becoming alive is simple, yet not easy. Just like life itself. To find life require death. It requires the dying off of old ways, old thinking patterns, old routines. It requires a commitment to adventure, exploration, shaking up the satus quo and most importantly... risk.

Someone told it to me this way: Imagine you were thrown naked out into the wilderness to survive. You would be alert. You would be ready to hunt. You'd be listening for streams. You would be paying attention. You would be curious. You would be afraid. And life would be your ultimate goal in everything you did. 

I am in a process in my own life where I am at a crossroads between the easy life paved before me, or the unpaved road that will require risk, courage and a lot of the unknown. We know this as the road less traveled. I am currently figuring out a way to live my life where I am unapologetically committed to truly living. Not just breathing, not just working, not just walking around... But relishing each moment. I feel like it sounds cheesy... but I really do think about it. What is living really like? What is a full life? Is there a depth in our every day that makes each moment magnificent. Am I just not looking for it? Am I took afraid to look for it? 

Our we committed enough to living what we openly invite the death of what isn't to be? Patterns, thoughts, knee jerk reactions, judgments, astronomical expectations of life and others. Might these be the things that must die to make way in the soil? Wouldn't it be worth it to be fully alert and fully alive? To be uncomfortable, to be awkward, to be unconventional, to let go of things that are dead anyway?

I don't know. Perhaps I am rambling. But I have noticed in myself recently: The more that I have been willing to let go, the more alive I have felt. I have felt more space for God to move, I have felt more openness to the spontaneous and unpredictable. I have felt more curious. I have felt more passionate. All through a mindset that is crying out, "whatever needs to die to make work for life... let it be so, and may I release it with humility." It is painful. It is scary. It's not safe. But aren't all these things worth it in exchange for feeling your own heart beat?