In The Back of My Mind: Paris Day 1

11:44 in Paris, I’ve stopped to have a beer on the way back to my hotel. Today began with a flight to Frankfurt from Atlanta. From there I took a bus up to Retablo Cafe, which is the venue where I will be having my art show on Friday. I had about 4 hours until my train to Paris, so after scoping out the venue to lay out my plan and meet the staff, I went on a walk.

I went into a large cathedral. I love seeing the interiors, the paintings, sculptures and architecture… like it’s hard to believe that people at some point just built all that. With no internet lol… just blows my mind every time. Inside the cathedral they were playing one of my favorite songs of all time, “Claire De Lune” by French composer Claude Debussy. What’s crazy is when I left the cathedral, there was a man around the corner playing “Claire De Lune” on the violin. I just sat there for a while just being appreciative. Small graces.

My train was delayed to Paris, which caused me to miss my connecting train, which then caused me to miss my check in window to the Airbnb. Because of the delay I was hanging out on the border of Germany and France in a small town I can’t remember the name of, but they had a zoo right outside the train station. I didn’t go but instead opted to sit in a square and have some German beer and draw. After waiting I finally got onto my train to Paris and enjoyed a 3 hour sunset ride through the countryside.

The first thing I did when I got here was grab a hotel room, drop my stuff off, and got right on the metro to go see the Eiffel Tower. I saw the Eiffel Tower for the first time in 2019 and it was the first building I’ve ever actually gasped at. Just…iconic.

but as I’m sitting here, I’m just trying to take everything in. This experience, and the general desire to travel and share art around the world, has been just running in the back of my mind. With Instagram and artists or just any process in general, no one ever sees the real work we do. We don’t post the real work we do to make things happen. Showing up… creating… pushing yourself creativity… all of these happen on an internal level. The real work is never seen because you can’t even express that long of a process simply… it just takes time.

In 2021 I taped a picture of a scene in Europe on my wall in my apartment as a symbol, a target of sorts. Whenever id not feel like working, or feeling discouraged, or wondering what the point of anything was…I’d just look at that photo.

When it comes to goals, Sometimes it can feel overwhelming figuring how to get to points a to z… but the irony of it all is that everything is in the little steps, how you choose to spend your time despite what you want not being here yet. It’s more about small consistent steps everyday that eventually grow into what you’ve always imagined.

Despite what it might seem online I’ve gone through quite a few challenges over the last few years to continue as an artist - from rejections, failed attempts at ideas, burn outs, people with intentions to distract or discourage me… but in all of this I just had all of this in the back of my mind. I’ve tried my best to stay focused no matter what… to protect my dreams from this world.

and I am drinking a beer in Paris, just enjoying the moment.

Tomorrow I will begin working on my art show. My suitcase is probably 5 articles of clothing and the rest is paint, scrolls and all my mounting tools. I found a way to bring rice paper and scrolls in a trasnsportable way, so my plan is to go exploring around Paris and then at night paint and make scrolls based on what I’ve seen and experienced…

so stay tuned for the rest of the trip, thanks for reading :)

Life Update April 2024

What’s going on my peeps? I was supposed to send this on Monday but I have been trying to stay on top of a few different things. I know a few of you have been unable to eat sleep or drink without needing to have an update from me on this blog so do not fret, the life update is here!

But before getting into what’s going on in my life, I wanted to share about the cool opportunities that are on the horizon for me in the art world. It is a very busy time. It feels like these happen every so often right before some gear is about to shift or things in life are about to take a different form… like the last leg of a race or just the last 10% of the task. Tying up the knots and securing the details. In June, I will have had my first business open for a whole year. Sometimes it feels like you’re so busy trying to keep the thing alive that it’s easy to forget to be thankful about it all in the first place… but opening Blooms Emporium has been one of the great teaching experiences of my life so far - it has forced me to grow, take more responsibility over my life and my time, and ultaimtaely if there’s anything I would take away from it, is that what goes around in life always comes around. This goes for personal, business, relationships, money… everything. Business ownership has shown me how much of an active role I play in my own life…and that through dedication and hard work, one can steer certain aspects of life. No all of it, but some aspects. But all that to say, it has been such a teaching year and I’m preparing myself for the next phase of what this whole art adventure may be. So, just briefly, here are my next few weeks in a nutshell.

Dogwood Arts Festival

This weekend I will be a featured artist for Coca-Cola for the Atlanta Dogwood Festival. What’s crazy is that my assistant sophia sent me the link this year and we had missed the deadline to apply for an artist booth… Then a few weeks later they hit me up and we started working on our concept to be a featured artist right near the entrance on 14th. It’s crazy how the universe works! So, come. see me and my team this weekend from Friday until Saturday, we will be there all day painting and hosting FREE Dogwood Flower classes for the festival. There is a lot of art and music happening that weekend so please check out Dogwood Festival for more info.

Off To Europe

Right after the festival I will fly to Frankfurt, Germany from where I will board a train to Paris. Over the last years, I have been working towards my dream of seeing the world through the lense of an artist - having the opportunity to be inspired and create in different places… commemorating the experiences through pieces of visual art. All the time I’ve been putting in, I’ve always tried to stay focus on my goals… it has helped me push through times of not feeling like doing things or feeling discouraged… I always tried to remember my dream. So on Sunday I will go to Paris where I will tattoo one day at @Larmarque.tatoo - the other days I plan to see some historic sights and artworks and also work on my solo exhibit in Frankfurt.

“the Long way home” scrolls exhibit in Frankfurt

After my 4 days in Paris I will return to Frankfurt where I will host my first international solo exhibition at Retablo Coffee. I have been brainstorming ways to travel with artwork and it hit me… scrolls! I’ve been wanting to learn how to make scrolls for sometime now to further explore traditional Chinese art techniques. I found a way I could begin to mount my watercolor pieces on scrolls so I can roll them up to work on them and bring them along with me in Europe. I plan to bring my papers and paint the show as I am inspired in Europe. The opening for the exhibit will be on April 19th in conjunction with their Friday Night Bar events. I am excited to be able to bring my art and showcase it outside of the country! And as a thanks for reading my blog, here’s a sneak peak photo of how the scrolls are turning out!

GODS OF INK

After my opening I will spend the weekend in Frankfurt at the Gods of Ink Tattoo Convention. I am excited to meet and witness some of the greatest tattooers alive on the planet today. Tattooing takes a long time and lot of patience and dedication, and I feel like this trip for me will be good to see some of tattoo heroes in action and to grow a deeper appreciation for the opportunity to learn tattooing.

COMING SOON: ART CLASSES AT THE ATLANTA BOTANICAL GARDENS

So, This one has been a long time coming. I’ve always envisioned an art class at a garden where people could observe a real life flower… for about year now I’ve been wanting to do it with the Atlanta Botanical Gardens… and now it’s happening! On May 4th, I will be doing a very special edition of my art class at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens… just as the Peonies briefly bloom for May we will be able to take a look at these peonies in real life and then make paintings based on the real life models found in the gardens. This first class is to see how everything goes but I hope that this will turn into a long time partnership with the gardens… one of the most beautiful places in Atlanta.

So what about me?

So that’s everything going on in the arts world. but what about me? Well, I turned 31 a couple weeks ago. It was a quiet birthday just spent with a couple friends by a river. My recent life has been really quiet, despite everything I’m need to “do.” I can feel myself changing - my values, goals, desires - are ever so deepening. Sometimes I wonder what it is I’m holding onto… be it a “better time” in the past, something I’m missing out on… I don’t know.. but more than ever I am feeling the urgency of now. Sometimes our entire life can be swallowed up in the “what will become?” and “what could have been?”… spending so much time over trying to correct the past or to see the future. Many times, and for long periods of time, we forget that what we have is the present moment. I have been amazed at the possibilities of the present moment - in which one can decide totally to walk a new direction. I think sometimes we are so afraid of the change we can’t bare admit the fact that we can decide to be and do anything we desire starting today.

I’ve been struggling and wrestling with my own procrastination in life… putting things off, waiting until better times, doing it “later.” I’ve realized how much of my inability to move forward with certain aspects of my life boils down to fearing the change that it will bring. But in the end, you cannot wait in a place you do not belong for too long because it is your conscience that you will eventually face, what you decided to do. With a lot of things in life, we wait and wait and wait, try to go around, try to hide, try to escape… yet somehow we always find it there with us. The only way to deal with the fear is to accept it, look at it, and embrace the free fall of change.

For me, some things that used to work for me - satisfy me, excite me, numb me - don’t anymore. I’m looking for something different, a new place and a new time. I’m trying to hold everything in my life with open hands, trying to know when it is time to be emptied so that I can learn something completely new. I cannot hold on so dearly to the old and expect for there to be space in my spirit for what is meant for me next.

Change is difficult, but how I see it, we’re not given much of a choice. The only way to lasting freedom, understanding and fullfilment is never around, but always through.

Thank yall for reading… I will continuing to be blogging throughout my travels this week so stay tuned and as always thank you for the support. Let’s do something great!

the cheese

Tonight I was asked what the goal of my life was. If I were to ask you this what would you immediately think of? I know my first thoughts were about the things we dream of acquiring - money, relationships, experiences, materials like a house or a car.

but lately I’ve been taking time to think about this question. Really actually think hard about it. Because what is the goal of my life? Is it to reach the top? Is it to get rich? Is it to acquire the right labels? To Make you like me? what is it?

sometimes I feel like a mouse in a maze, chasing the scent of this far off time and place… an ideal…presented and sold to me since I was very young… The scent is so faint yet ever-present, whispering to me “just a little further and you will find it…just around the next corner…you will find it.” Yet, it has always seemed that every time I’ve seemed to discover or achieve the goal, it has eluded me all the same. Just a scent. Felt but never seen. And impossible to hold.

Here I am, a mouse, striving to decipher this maze, to obtain the prize that awaits me…now beginning to wonder if there ever was a piece of cheese there in the first place. The goal. What is this goal?

The goal of my life. What would it even be like to touch that? Is there ever a moment to feel like you’ve made it?

3 years ago I wouldn’t believe what my life has become today, yet I’ve found a chilling sobriety in achieving my dreams. The cheese was never there, and in the end, obtaining what I’ve always thought would validate me…what I once thought of as my arrival…has turned out to be just the beginning. The beginning of a journey inward.

The goal. What is the goal?

What everyone has always said

I’m writing these things on here because I feel life if you say anything in social media nowadays it can be interpreted in a million different ways. I feel like at least if I’m honest here you can judge me less because you’re on MY website lol. This is just to log the journey… what everything is teaching me in my life right now. Lessons, adventures, challenges, wins and losses… I wish we could all talk about these things more. I really want to speak to people about real life… so this is where I want to do it.

but you know what’s crazy… the other day I booked a $10,000 commission. It has been on my bucket list to make a piece of art that would make me $10,000 and now it’s just happened. And you know, of course I was elated about the money but at the same time this strange emptiness overcame me the next day…

I think I realized that nothing had changed at all…I felt exactly the same… and that both fortunately and unfortunately… what they always say is true. And of course I feel strange to even write about this… because of course I’m thankful to even have a chance to make a living as an artist and to be in the position I am in… but I think I just realized that the money… just like they have always said… doesn’t buy happiness.

I took a few days… which probably should have been more celebratory… to think about the future. I guess I’ve never really thought more deeply about what I’d do with the money other than what is meant to be done to it: spend it. I kinda of realized that I wasn’t chasing it anymore because I realized that a year ago I couldn’t imagine making 10k in a painting and here it is… so that only means that the money is just an idea that will continue to grow. Value and energy.

our whole life we chase money. We get the money so we can chase even more. In my life I feel like I keep reaching a mirage just as it evaporates and another appears simultaneously on the horizon.

The Irony Of Procrastination

We all know the feeling too well…

“I’ll Do It Tomorrow.”

And unfortunately for a lot of things in our life, tomorrow never comes.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately… what is the level of validity for the excuses that I give myself for the things that I need to do take care of in my life. Habits that I really needed to start yesterday, many of which, if I were honest, still live as figments of my imagination (because they are not yet reality). We sit around, talk about everything we will do, act as if we are preparing to do them… but then never end up doing them at all. This may be starting a new project/passion, having a difficult conversation, cleaning your room, or any number of mundane tasks that we’re required to take care of in our lives.

A lesson that I’m learning the hard way is this idea that though delaying what I need to do gives me a temporary (and false) sense of respite from the trivial tasks of life, it always ends up costing me more time to procrastinate than to just get it out of the way. I’m beginning to look at it this way… life is like a big knot. In a situation, it may start out with no knots in it, but as time passes, the knot gets bigger and bigger and bigger… and if I were to un-knot the little knots as they come up, it would eventually save me more time than waiting until there is a huge knot to untie. Life is the same way… small knots turn to big knots.

This might sound a little intense, but I believe that every time we delay something we know we need to do, we tell ourselves a little lie. We are masters at deceiving ourselves, trying desperately to escape the inevitably of work, discipline, and pain… believing that if only the circumstances were different we would be able to do what we need to do. But ironically, that time never comes… the circumstances are never quite right, there’s always something in the way… always a reason we couldn’t get to it.

I’ve always found the very idea of an excuse quite hard to understand, almost coming to conclude that the reasons we find for our behavior, in the end, matter very little… and that the things that do matter are the what we actually did and the choices we actually made and not just spoke of or formulated in my mind. Our choices are a function of our decisions, which are a manifestation of our true beliefs… in some ways to say, we act exactly as we are. This is difficult to stomach in our society, which is mostly built on just saying the right things and projecting images of ourselves that don’t actually exist. most of us would rather not think about it…but sometimes I don’t know how to see it any other way. And even if its not what what you wanted to hear…there’s actually a lot of hope in knowing you can make a change before you run out of time. And this is the irony of procrastination - By putting things off to avoid suffering, you only save up the suffering to be endured at a later time - and though the thought of doing it now may seem impossible to you in this moment, the pain of tending to it now cannot compare to the existential and irreversible pain of deep regret that you are saving for yourself later.

I’m experiencing the pain of neglecting that which I know I need to do. Things I’ve been putting off for days, weeks, months and even years are reaching through to grab my attention. I’ve realized for myself that I can’t wait another day because if I were honest I’ve been saying “tomorrow” for what seems like an eternity now.

I’m trying to be honest with myself now. There are things we all know we need to do… we may try to run from it… busy ourselves with activity, find excuses, develop lifestyles of endless escapsim and fantasy… but I am understanding more than ever now that the pain of ignoring these signs eventually becomes far greater than the pain of tending to them. Regret forms a type of a prison around our hearts… and I’d rather know the pain of freedom in honesty than the shackles of living a lie. Start what you need to start, and do it tomorrow (literally)… for the problems of life will continue to exist and time, unfortunately, is not sympathetic to our excuses…it just continues to roll regardless.

To do this one may need to silence the opinions of peers, family and loved ones… for even they don’t know what you know… the thing that is itching at your heart and soul… calling for you to take care of it… and for some of you the invitation to finally begin your life… to take responsibility.

Yall, don’t wait another day. I know I can’t anymore, I’m being forced to change. I’m realizing and coming to accept… that when we say “later” we are really saying “never.” so just go ahead and do it today.

See yall NOW

How?!?!

I’m writing this because I can hardly believe this happened myself but it did.

so I’m in New York, I came up here for a tattoo appointment tomorrow with one of my great tattoo inspirations Chris Garver. Tell me why last night me and my friend were just walking around New York trying to find somewhere cool to grab a drink. I googled bars near us and found this cool looking sake bar.

when I walked down the steps into the bar, I ran into Chris Garver walking out of the front door as I was walking in. In a city of 8 million people, at this place and at this time, I happened upon the very person I have come to see.

It’s crazy times

The Rise and Fall of Dynasty: A True Atlanta Story

Chapter 1: The shortest dynasty to ever live

Friends and family, I come back from Buckhead with a true Atlanta tale. One so laced with complexity, mystery and nuance that eventually I began to cherish it quite literally as folklore as much as I despised it for happening to me.

What I have experienced over the last few months, as I opened my concept store Dynasty and almost immediately chose to close it and move out, has taught me priceless lessons and in many ways redirected and reinvigorated my life.

I wanted to write about this here on my blog instead of doing it on instagram because I feel like its really important to me to let you guys know where I’m at… especially any of you out there who have purchased some art, print, or taken an art class, or supported Blooms Emporium or any of the events I’m always trying to do… I really feel like you guys are with me as I’m growing and trying to find the next steps. I want to overemphasize my appreciation for you, because I realized in this particular time in my life that you guys are the energy force, the fire, and the motivation that has given me a lot of hope and positivity during a more challenging and complicated time.

I also wanted to share more-so the personal experience I had in this situation and ultimately what it taught me, instead of the details of actual situation and characters themselves - for it is filled with holes and is shrouded in mystery - a mystery I quickly realized that I didn’t want to solve. To make a long story short, it came to a point with the entity that I was working with where I no longer felt it safe or a good idea to continue business there. Though the concept of Dynasty was so beautiful and the idea came together so wonderfully in its physical form, there was always a feeling I had about it like being a ball resting on a needle… right on the edge of… well something happening.

So, just after about a month of setting up my new space and new apartment in buckhead… after the grand opening, investing over $10,000 into the space in decor, locks, installations, electrical… Dynasty has returned to its original state… 2 empty rooms and an idea living in my mind once again.

If I have been out of touch, not responding, etc… I’ve been moving, and focussing on getting myself together. This situation has led me down an inward path of reflection, re-evaluation and searching, and in many ways disrupted my life in a necessary manner to help me see more clearly. And through everything, here are some of the things I’ve been learning:

CHAPTER 2: FINDING HEALING IN THE PRESENT

In our lives, things are going wrong each and every moment of each and every day. And every so often, those things that are going wrong are happening to you. Things break, things don’t work out, things change… and sometimes you are right in the middle of it all it seems. When I was wrestling with whether or not to continue Dynasty in Buckhead, I found myself engulfed in the worry of the future… thinking down every little path in which everything would end in a fiery inferno. I realized that I was preoccupied with a future that did not exist… and I began to realize it was robbing me of the present moment and was causing me to neglect the very beautiful and good things that were right in front of me.

I was looking at everything I had to do… having to run Blooms Emporium, staying on top of ongoing projects, worrying about making rent and paying off the new equipment I had just invested in for the business…just, constant worry. And you know what? On the Saturday during this whole time I had to pack up and leave, I had the biggest art class turnout I’ve ever had at Blooms Emporium. I was so pre-ocuppied and exhausted that I didn’t even check to see how many people were coming to the class and much to my surprise it was the most we had ever had.

I realized in this moment what I needed to do. Just be present. This epiphany is hidden in plain sight in our lives… that more often than not the answer to everything is right in front of you. I saw these students in the class that day and was filled with a moment of thankfulness… and I realized I was looking at my responsibilities as chores to get through rather than opportunities to inspire and impact others. I began to shift my mindset and to count the blessings more carefully, beginning to understand that power of shifting my perspective, especially in times of disappointment and failure. I believe that I experienced everything in Buckhead just to be able to learn this lesson about being present, or how we might say, “finding the light.” I learned that that more I focussed on the negatives - this ain’t gonna work, this sucks, I hate this, why is this happening to me? - the more I felt my heart closing off to the world. To find the light in life means to keep your heart open through pain and disappointment. And I know that sometimes it’s the last thing we want to do, but it is the passage through which one must walk to find the answer… which is most often outside of oneself… in the service of others or a greater purpose.

Within moments of great pain or crisis are hidden some of the most beautiful lessons about love, life, and purpose. In these moments we are most vulnerable and weak, but it is in this same moment that we have the opportunity to be completely open to what there is for you. After all, only when one is empty can they be filled up again.

I started to realized that I couldn’t fix my problems by worrying about them, and I chose a new value in my life… to just focus on the present. Every painting, tattoo, customer to come through Blooms Emporium… yall are my REAL life. The people in front of me and around me, my family, my staff, my friends… yall are my REAL life. Anyone who has ever supported me by buying a print, painting, or taken a class. yall are my REAL life. sometimes you need to climb down focus on what you can do right now and the things that the universe has given you right now, chances big and small, and you may find everything falling into place.

Chapter 3: the sun is always shining somewhere (YEAR OF THE DRAGON PAINTING)

Each night the sun retires behind the horizon out of site. Even though it’s not shining on you anymore, it’s shining somewhere on somebody.

In the original Dynasty design, the penultimate installation - the great cherry on top - was to be the sliding painting door. If you had a chance to see Dynasty, I was going to replace the door to the tattoo studio with a sliding painting of a dragon. I was so excited to work with my friend Conner to install this painting on hidden tracks, so it would look like another painting on the wall, except it would move.

During the last days of Dynasty, I was feeling pretty stressed and sad, but I figured I would at least squeeze one giant piece out of the whole situation. At every transition or great event in my life, I like to paint a dragon. In a lot of ways, it’s like a checkpoint as to where I am as an artist. With each dragon, I can see my understanding deepen and grow… and each of them mark a specific moment in my life. So, I went ahead and painted the big piece of wood that was to be the door. I locked myself in Dynasty and just put myself into it - all the confusion, pain, the feeling of starting over - I just put it all in there. I chose to do a black and white dragon because I felt like this whole experience was a lesson in understanding contrast in life - the light and the dark, and how they must both exist in union. Working in black and white is a study of value, since there is no color to break up the composition. To me, Black and white works contain a certain classic-ness and purity, and challenges your understanding the essence of the subject.

This painting is about a character who is learning to operate amidst the darkness through fierce waters, winds and clouds. Behind the clouds hides the sun, that is serving as his eternal hope and purpose in suffering. When we begin to understand our eternal purpose and identity, challenges in life become necessary moments that are meant to shape us, form us and prepare us for true glory. We open ourselves up to becoming an active participant in our growth, finding healing in our very willingness to believe, adapt and move foward.

I’ve finished it in time for Lunar New Years, the year of the wood dragon. I have it displayed in Blooms Emporium now if you would like to come see it in person.

Thank you for reading this blog. I wish I could say what the next steps are for me as far as tattooing and art… but in a way right now I’m not too concerned with all of it. I’m concerned with becoming the person I’m supposed to be and letting the universe take care of the rest. I hope that you gained something from reading this, and that you are reminded to stay present here in life. Live in the moment, live a real life, put your heart into it and what the world open up to you. The journey is not without pain, but it does have the opportunity to exist without vanity.

Love you guys, thank you for the continued support.

Not art related

It’s important to be able to face yourself and that’s why it’s in your best interest to trust your intuition and listen to yourself about what you need to do. Sometimes this may cause distance and friction between you and your environment but at the end of the day each person faces themself, not their parents, colleagues or their peers.

from the internet perspective, we all seem to believe everyone’s life is just that much better than ours. A lot of things are going great for me at the moment in my career and my art but I’m realizing it’s the other stuff that’s going to be a lot harder than the art part. It’s weird in a way I’m living my dream only to realize that it’s not living the dream that’s the hard part but it’s maintaining some connection to reality in the other areas of your life… the parts that will be there no matter how everything is going “professionally.” In many ways, the real parts. Sometimes I wonder why it’s easier for me to paint a picture than it is to take the chance of letting someone into my life.

My friend put it like this once…Sometimes you climb to this place on a mountain… and what happens when you can’t climb up anymore? Maybe it’s a peak… or maybe it’s a blocked passage. It didn’t work… or it ended. Either way you can’t keep going there. All you can do is just climb down…

You ever feel like you’ve been up there forever? Trying and doing the same old thing? And maybe it used to work, but now it doesn’t anymore? Your pride won’t let you leave… you just want to keep trying to find a way through or to stop there…but it’s just not time anytime.

Sometimes you have to walk back down the mountain and find another way. It’s just how it is. It’s life. Take a second to see where you’ve gone and just… find another way. Take the lessons, have the memory… and find a new adventure.

It takes courage to come down because it feels like going backwards. But this is the humility in life… to return to being a student always.

I need to find something new.

Love

Well yeah I guess I’m thinking about it a lot these days. In life one day you can be so sure of what you want and then it’s like you blink and something is different. We can only ignore the call to change for so long… life has a beautiful way of not letting you stay still comfortably. Idk it just how it is it seems.

I’m opening myself to becoming more accepting of the way things are… and this opens up myself to accept how things will be. I want to grow into the next version of me. I know it’s that time. It’s just so hard to let go sometimes…of the habits, the people, the lusts… but I’m wanting to let go and just become… to follow the compass that I’ve always felt inside.

Living in a culture feels like infinite currents clashing into each other. Opinions, influences, everyone vying for your attention. Turbulent water… eventually everyone is confused. I’m looking now for the timeless currents. The deep, slow, and unchanging ones… maybe I am thinking about love and the undoing she will inevitably bring into my perfectly planned and imagined world.

And then I realized there was only one thing left to do. The land was surveyed, the costs counted, and the winter was on its way. The only thing left to do was to climb the mountain.

Evolutions Journal 001: So Why Pokemon?

So I just announced my next show this week. Very excited… it’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a while now, and I just figured well now is the perfect time to do it since I have not technically done a solo art show this year. So before 2023 was up I wanted to go ahead and do a show for myself to mark this moment in my journey as an artist and a person.

I wonder if this seemed like a random choice to paint Pokemon, but it’s just a feeling I’ve had to do it… and if there’s anything I’ve learned is that in life when you get these certain feelings about what you need to do… it’s best that you follow them, even though… no especially if they feel risky. I decided to paint the original 151 pokemon because it is a really important core memory for me enjoying the games and the characters as a child. In many senses, I feel like I’m exiting my young adulthood and entering a new stage… and for some reason both the circumstances in my life and my reflections upon my life so far have all been pointing towards coming to terms with things from my past and trying to understand them from a different perspective.

Part of the growth journey, or “evolving,” if you will, is about shedding old ways and challenging one-held beliefs and perspectives. It takes a lot of work to undo ways you’ve learned to deal with life or view yourself or the world around you… yet it is this same work that is necessary for us to develop further along our path. Recently, I’ve just started to question more and more things about who I am at the core… and why it is that I have certain tendencies towards behaviors, reactions, or patterns. How did this habit arrive here? and who taught it to me? As I venture into uncharted and new areas in my life as a person, is how I’m making decisions informed by who I really am or who I’ve been taught to be?

These are some of the many questions I am asking myself right now about myself and who I would like to become in the next chapter of my life. It’s funny, you think your whole life everything will seem clear at a certain point or after a certain experience, yet what you will find is that life was always and will always be the same… just decision after decision. Part of the overwhelming part is the realization that there are infinite paths to choose, and that you are the only one responsible for the choices that you are making. I believe that the sheer weight of the responsibility of choices is that keeps many people giving up their power to allow someone else to make the choices for them… forging your path is not for the feint of heart. I’m realizing that there is no one who is going to stop me from becoming whatever it is I am going to become…and that’s how it should be I think. It’s no one’s job after a certain point to watch over your shoulder… there are moments in life where you can begin to trust your own experiences and judgments…

In the Pokemon Show, the characters often evolve after great feats or challenges that they had just overcome. I think this is such a beautiful allegory for life… Without the willingness to embark on the heroes journey… to get out there and explore the unknown filled with mystery, danger, and challenges… we may never experience the evolution that follows the great adventure. The last 3 years was a time where I began to realize that a very important moment had come for me in my life… the expression of many years of sewing seeds… all coming together. I’m the only one in my story who understands the depth and intention in which I approached all of this stuff over the last 10 years… and to see it… and the experience my own personal evolution as an artist and person has been nothing short of a roller coaster ride.

But this is all part of the reason I chose Pokemon…as a story about evolution, adventure, and at the end of the day, fun, too. I hope that that part of me who was excited about Pokemon as a kid never dies… and I don’t think it needs to ever. It’s a crucial part of being alive.

Last Saturday my dad had to be taken out of my store by the police. It’s a long story with him, but this was truly a pivotal moment in my life…

I’m starting to realize now, at age 30, the levels of psychological, emotional, and physical abuse that not only myself but my mom and sister endured for many years at the hands of this man. It’s something we’ve actually never really talked about or even admitted until more recently.

When my dad came to the store last weekend, he started yelling at me in front of everyone in the area. He was refusing to leave, and hanging around the store, and eventually got angry and was making a scene. I was instantly taken back to the helplessness I had felt as a child and I was confronted with such a difficult decision as how to react. I realized in that moment, how powerless I had always felt in our relationship. All of my upbringing, there was never conversation with this man… it was always his way or nothing at all. It turns out there was never any reason within our relationship… something you can’t realize until the power dynamic shifts later in life. With him I had always felt stuck between a rock and a hard place… I realize there was never a right answer or action, no matter what I ever did. Nothing was ever enough to appease his expectations of me and the world. I grew up walking through a minefield… never knowing if the wrong word or reaction would trigger hours of punishment for myself or the rest of my family.

It was a difficult decision to call security on my own dad… but I had a crystal clear realization in the moment of facing his abuse again in my store of how much I desired to just let go of it all… there is always a sense of guilt to keep you around an abuser, especially if they know how to prey upon that feeling to get you to continue to excuse their behavior. But I can see it now… for all my life I have felt this guilt… that I need to save him, that I need to be the one to go one more mile in pain, to turn a Blind eye cause it’s your old man… but at the end of the day, if I’ve expressed a need for my well-being and safety and someone does the opposite… they’ve got to go, immediately, it doesn’t matter who it is.

After that experience I climbed a mountain and sat up there to find my peace. I felt angry that he can just appear in my life anytime he wants now (because now he knows where to find me because of the store) and create chaos and embarrass me in front of my staff, guests and other businesses. And this is what he has always done… but I just sat there for a long time… and I just opened my hands and let him go. most of all, I just felt sad. Of course I wish it were different… but this is my life… this is his life. We will all at the end of the day lie in the beds that we make ourselves. I am sad for him that even though he has lost every single thing in his life, including his wife and two children, he is still unable to entertain the possibility that he might be doing something wrong. We are similar in that way… hard headed and passionate… but I wonder sometimes if his own pride will be the sad end for him.

These experiences cause me to pray now. I don’t know what to think or wear to turn. Seeing him become the “crazy guy at the mall” broke my heart and flipped a switch in me all at the same time. I don’t ever want to look back ever again.

When I went to Chicago I had a lot of time to do nothing. It seems like I’m meant to do a lot of things alone right now. It feels like I’m learning how to trust myself more and that’s requiring these certain experiences to teach me more about myself. I’ve been thinking a lot about this idea of loneliness, and asking myself why this feeling exists in my life. It’s caused me to reflect on myself and ask myself if there are certain people or things I’m relying too heavily on for my happiness. I feel like in life if you don’t decide what it is that makes you happy yourself, you’ll be taken upon the streams of everyone around you, and ultimately the overarching stream of society itself. That’s why I feel like its so hard to break patterns in our life, because it means swimming against the current of everyone’s expectations… and this is definitely an uphill battle.

During my trip I thought about Blooms Emporium a lot… Just like a lot… not in a way that was worrying about it, but more just about all the customers, all the students, and now the young people that work for me. The first passage of opening the business was a huge lesson in emotion and how to manage them in times of stress. Something I don’t like to admit is that I inherited the temper of my father… after all, where else would you learn anything from? So, this has been a lesson in taking time to be patient and asses situations through a different channel other than emotion. Experiences in my apprenticeship and time owning a business have shown me how things escalate in situations and how it is all fueled by unmanaged emotions. Emotions have been the difference between life and death for a lot of people. But I’m really working on my emotional control right now, slowing down and remembering the bigger picture always, and trying to have more compassion in everything. If you sit down to think about it for a second, we don’t know each other like we really think we do. Seldom do we know where others have been in their life, and how much they have been influenced by their unique environments, just like yourself.

In life I feel like everyone is screaming for acceptance but won’t take the time to simply be accepting in an of themselves. I’ve been experiencing a lot of the feeling of loneliness lately… and what I’m realizing is that, contrary to what is natural, the cure for loneliness is actually to give up more. Go help someone else for a second. Go serve. Do something to get your mind off of yourself. Self-centeredness is a vaccum because in and of ourselves we will never be satisfied, and the only cure is to battle and defeat the idea of self altogether.

I Chicago I sat down to be thankful for everything. I wanted to change my perspective because I felt burdened all my responsibilities. I was in a time where I was losing perspective and feeling burnt out on everything. I was losing that thankful feeling. But as I thought about everyone in my life, I was filled with this feeling of understanding and forgiveness… I’m letting go of the idea of an “enemy…” cause in the end the real enemy lives a lot closer to you than you think.

Savannah 09/15/23

There was a lot of resistance to get down here to Savannah this time. I locked myself out of my apartment taking out the trash at 4 am the morning of my departure, I was trying to leave at 7:30 to get my van rental. I ended up sleeping on the curb until 6:45 until another tenant started their day and let me in… ended up not getting the van until 11, got to the venue a little late, didn’t have time to prepare my dj set… so I just I improvised the whole thing lol it’s what it is…

Ever feel like your trudging through sand? Sometimes things flow and sometimes they… well don’t. Sometimes you just have to move forward despite how you feel… if anything starting my business has taught me is not to just tolerate mundane tasks and constant problem solving, but to welcome them as a part of the process as necessary experiences for my personal growth. It is learning how to execute when it doesn’t “feel” Right that separates the cream From Crop… because the real truth is that it’s hard for just about everyone and it’s about how willing each person is to commit to the process.

What Else is crazy is that on the way down here I experienced another double rainbow on the highway. I’ve only experienced now 2 double rainbows in my whole life… one on the last day I was in Savannah last time… and the second on my way this time… what does it all mean??!! Lol.

Anyways I’m very happy to be here. I’m taking risks… betting on myself. Constant growth. Tunnel vision! Music is the next piece of the puzzle. I’m getting up at sunrise tomorrow to shoot a set on the dock. I’m thinking about the mornings now… to be able to meet the light and the awakening of each new day. I’ve always hated early mornings but part of me know wants to wake up with the rest of earth.

Very thankful today

❤️❤️❤️

Doubling Down

There are moments in life that require absolute and ruthless decision. To not look back, to focus more, and to lunge forward without remorse. There is something I realized with this blog. I’ve been really struggling to write this blog because I realized that I Was censoring it. I was writing with an “audience in mind”…. wondering who I might offend, or if I might feel misunderstood or judged etc. Not that the recent blogs have been bad by any means but I do feel like i was really TRYING to write a blog versus just writing a blog you know what I mean? I just remembered that this is a blog… it doesn’t really have to be anything…just what is meaningful to me in this very moment to write about.

Recently, I have spent a lot of time contemplating the meaning of my own life but also the “norm” that I would consider living a typical American lifestyle. In the end, we’re all really after money… but recently I’ve been wondering how many of us even know what we want to do with all the money that we so desire. Opening my store has given me such a perspective into the mind of the average consumer. I meet a lot of people and have a lot of conversations. I observe the businesses… the brands of those businesses that are represented. What is the true ethos of all of this beneath the slick marketing and branding? It’s made me just consider my own life and made me start to wonder if I have ever truly differentiated between wants and needs in my life…. and how maybe the confusion of the two is what makes a lot of us so miserable. It’s the never ending pursuit of pleasure… these wants…that leave us further dissatisfied and further away from our true purpose.

I want to talk about these kinds of things with everyone I meet but sometimes I’m not sure if it is appropriate and if they’re gonna start looking at me crazy. I think about everyone I meet and see on a daily basis. Are you satisfied? And why or why not? Like… when we all go home, after work or after the party or the date or the concert or the bar or whatever we do, do you feel like where you are supposed to be?

I believe that beneath everything we pursue in our society lies this desire to feel like you are where you are supposed to be. That the time and efforts you are spending are not a waste of time… and that ultimately, what you do matters. I have to believe that there lies a deeper satisfaction in this experience that we call life than just working and resting/escaping from working. What we’re looking for is a reason. a reason to be here.

Right now in my life I’m becoming hyperfocused. I’m going through that moment in life where you’ve suddenly noticed everyone’s appearance has changed. We all used to look young but now everyone looks just slightly different. It’s a sad feeling seeing your parents get older. It makes me think about my own life a lot and at what point we begin to look backwards instead of forwards. I personally never want that day to come in my life. But all this has kicked something inside of me into high gear. Not that I haven’t been focused, but I had to go through certain freedoms to understand for myself where certain distractions lie, and which path to take in the future. I’m catching a vision for myself and the journey is demanding some sacrifice.

But in the end, how I have chosen to view my own experience of life, is that there’s no point in not doubling down on the bet once you feel it. It’s not always time to throw every chip in, but there are certainly moments where it is critical to do so. Not based on any sort of fact but based on this strange gut feeling that you have been here before and you’ve experienced the outcome. If there is anything that the last two or so years has taught me is that the universe is quite ready to meet you, it’s a matter of how fully you are willing to free fall into the unknown. The beautiful thing is that the more you jump the more you realize that you are met every single time. and that’s simply how it works. Faith… the willingness to go first.

My friend told me I probably need to let myself cry. Yeah, I feel that, I feel like I should too. I feel it coming at some point. But man yall, it’s quite a crazy time for me right now. A lot of things are changing and bubbling beneath the surface. I have made plans for my life, plans for what I can help create for Atlanta and the world beyond. It’s moving quite quickly tbh it feels like sometimes I’m standing completely still and completely along in a crowd of people, watching everyone go by. I realized I haven’t processed everything that’s happened for my life recently…I realized I don’t let myself feel like I’ve done a good job for some reason… like there’s always something more to do and to keep growing and pushing. But I want to cherish these times and all the vistas and lessons they have brought me alike.

This time marks the emergence of a technicolor bird, rising from the remains of a time that has since passed and burnt away. Here only for an instant, it is the time of the renewal of values and the return to the creation of moments through sound and music, as the phoenix is said to represent the pentatonic scale in music. It is a time to let that which has turned to ash fall off these new feathers and to fearlessly reach toward the sky to meet the dragon at the turn of 2024. The time is now yall, the phoenix era!

Still Waters

This is one of my favorite shorts from recent times, taken on a fishing pier off Tybee Island. This is actually a color photograph, and this is what it really looked liked outside. Behind me was a storm that just moments later would descend on the whole island. I remember being particularly drawn to this scene because incredible contrast I could view in the water, almost like night time. I don’t know else to describe it but this photo is such a representation of my life right now…Lights and positions change, more and more truth is revealed.

Still Waters

One of the things that I hate that I’m realizing about myself is that I can be quite impatient. Often times I’m so ready to see something happen, that I’ll race to the outcome and often neglect some steps along the way. I think this comes partly from my “YOLO” way of viewing life… I always feel this subtle pressure to keep creating, to make every moment count… and though this may sound morbid to some of yall, I definitely consider the inevitability and unpredictability of death quite often in my life. It’s like a subtle guiding force, a reminder that my time here is neither as long or as promised as I’d like to think.

Something critical is happening in my life right now. It feels somewhat like a personal transformation, or some sort of revelation or evolution into the next version of who I was supposed to become. I’m being very challenged to question my own life, wondering what parts of it are continuing to serve me, and what parts need to be left in the past. How often are we tempted to remain in or around things that are no longer a true part of our present lives?

When I was in high school, my church group went to a farm and we got to ride ATV’s. That was an amazing day, as we drove all around the farm, having mud fights… a boys dream. I remember particularly when we drove down the hill into an area with a stagnant pool of water. When we drove through it, the most unbelievable stench covered us… as this was a pool of still water that had been dormant for quite some time. All the rotting elements of the environment ended up in this pool, as well as all the built up run off from the surrounding area. I’ll never forget the smell that covered me the rest of the day…I smelled like a sewer all the way until I could go home and take a shower.

This memory sticks with me and reminds me often of the importance of staying in motion in life. Throughout our journey we are tempted and always drawn towards comfort. “comfort” is what awaits us as the reward - for completing a day at the office, for sacrificing so much time and energy for a career, after finally getting the girlfriend… etc. The ironic nature of comfort is that it is the same thing that dulls our edge. It’s almost like the very thing we have always sought is becomes our demise. If we are not vigilant, attentive, and most of all, honest, with ourselves and our environments, we can find ourselves in stagnant water after some time. We may find ourselves in jobs, relationships, and other situations where we cannot recall or find a good reason for their existence in our lives.

Are we willing to be honest with what and who is around us? Are we unwilling to make critical changes in our life our of fear of what others will think? What are the things in your life that you (know deep inside) need to do? Do not let indifference lead you in to the pools of still and rotting water - surrounded by opinions and negative energies of those who have not yet taken their own steps. Set your life into motion and leave these rotting pools… Bet on yourself and who you know you can become, and forget all the rest.

It is imperative in life to make friends with the discomfort of desire. It is this desire that keeps us alive and keeps our spirit alive. We must be weary of dulling our curiosity and our yearning for more with the presence of senseless stimulation and noise. It is important that we continue moving forward, as there are endless depths of life to be discovered. Moving on…

AB

Elements & Critical Mass

Going on week 2 of my weekly art blog. Thank you for tuning in. This blog is about the life in the arts and about the many random side quests one must take to reach the next destination. As I said in the last post, I’m interested in writing right now… and documenting the stories of this time. I am grateful to have this platform to share this part of my life with you and for any of you who show support and read this.

Elements

Yesterday I hosted a photoshoot at my studio for my upcoming clothing release. I’ve been working on a series of abstract bleach denim inspired by the different elements. Each pair of jeans is hand dyed by yours truly and hopes to encapsulate, in abstract form, the different characteristics of fire, air, water, thunder, and energy. In addition to the jeans I will be releasing my new embroidered hats and my first every series of shorts. I never designed shorts cause I never wore shorts then i thought id tattoo my knees to give me more reasons to wear shorts. Now im releasing shorts! A shorts tale!

Anyways for the photoshoot I had an idea to throw a pizza party for my models, friends and phtoographers. What I’m trying to accomplish here is to create new epxperiences that blend the carriers between art, creativity in life. Sometimes, it seems like we go from “work mode” to “creative mode” to “business and marketing mode” to “party mode”… when I’m wondering why we can’t combine all of this into one fluid experience. What I’m realizing is that most everyone, no matter where they are coming from, are just looking for positive vibrations to enjoy life - positive people, motives, creations, experiences…. these are the kind of people I want to attract with the things I am designing. Yesterdays photoshoot was a prototype to seeing just how far we can take this idea…a true lifestyle… one that only needs to be captured and not fabricated.

The new series will be released on May 12th at a popup at my store Blooms Emporium in Ponce City Market (Atlanta)… I’m going to release everything in-store ONLY first, then it will be available online. Please keep a tab on my socials to see some previews in the next few weeks.

Here is a preview of the dragon hat, only for you blog readers exclusively!!! They don’t even know about this yerrrrt

Critical Mass

I am learning what it means to create mass in your life. Just like plants and objects, your life can have mass. I have been investing into this mass by increasing my trust in God/universe/idk what to call it yet… the source. Recently, I am challenging myself by trying to identify times when I start to feel anxiety or the need to control situations or outcomes. This can be expressed through business, art, and relationships. When things do not go according to plan, I find that in these moments is the moment of critical decision. We can either go more into worry, anxiety, fear of the unkown… or faith… which begins to understand that everything is happening for a specific reason at a specific time. I have been so pleasantly surpsired in my life how much things really do work out, and that we can just trust that it will. The catch is that you can’t also try to control your life while also letting go… it’s a choice. When your posture becomes one more of trust, you gain a deeper level of wisdom and understanding, which translates to more powers, and therefore more mass. And just like the planets, the larger the mass the more energy it attracts to it. This is the exact same truth for life… Trust more and everything will start shifting. The things which you desire will begin not only to appear to you, they will start finding you. Idk if I’m explaining it in a way that makes sense… but the more you jump the more the universe will meet you. It is the law of attraction and is a true law.

NEXT UP

so what’s next? Well, Im setting out to sell out all of my classes at Ponce City Market this month of August… so if you want to take an art class, please consider signing up! The link to the art class info and tickets is here.

But other than that, I’m focussing on gearing up for this release and getting back into some new tattoos. I’m getting to do a tiger this Friday and I can’t WAIT. It’s going to be next level.

Thank you guys for reading. I’ll you next time, and take care of yourselves.

Andrew Blooms

Where There Is A Will: Savannah Art Show Recap

We huddled into the beach bar to escape the rainstorm. Just moments ago we were all on the beach. Not being from here, I was amazed at how quickly the storm was right over us. We ordered some drinks to bide the time and wait out the storm, contemplating where we could eventually feast on oysters to cap off an amazing day of just being able to be outside and enjoy the beach and the sun. Suddenly, a monstrous roar erupts as thunder strikes near the bar. Everyone goes quiet. The song ends. And there is silence for just a fraction of a second… Then, the sun came out and the song “Return Of the Mack” begins playing as the radio transitions not only the song, but what felt like a new moment in time. As the sun began to rise, the restaurant raised its blinds to reveal the most beautiful double rainbow I have ever seen. Not only have I never seen a full rainbow from horizon to horizon, but on this day I saw two. We said “FUCK THIS BAR", closed our tabs, and ran out to the beach as we just saw this double rainbow glisten before us. The rainbow was so clear it looked like there were multiple rainbows coming out of it. In the middle of the rainbow, placed perfectly in the middle, was a cargo barge. To my eyes, it looked like the barge was lit by a studio light or something… perfectly highlighted by the sun. I ran back to the car to get my film camera. But as I returned not only did I realize that the camera was out of film, but that the entire moment had passed. I will never forget what I saw on this day with my friends Ryan and Brittany. It will continue to be one of my most cherished memories.

But anyways yall, haha thanks for reading that I just had to write about that experiences somewhere… But anyways thank you for coming to check out my blog! For anyone who is new to this blog, I used to blog a lot more and just through the last few years of going through my tattoo apprenticeship and art journey, I haven’t made as much time for it. But typically I just write about how I’m feeling, how I’m looking at life, what lessons I’m learning, and about some of my creative process. I hope that by inviting you into some of my life in this way, we can find some common ground in life and that we can inspire each other to move forward. I feel like life, especially in these days, can feel quite isolating, and I believe that it is the sharing of ourselves (vulnerability) that ultimately bridges that gap. I have felt this deep desire, almost more like a conviction, to start writing again and to shift my energies to a different direction. I had a realization the other day that for the most part, my entire 20’s (quite literally) was spent on apps. I thought about it, I got instagram when I was like 19 or something, and it has been concrete & solid part of my everyday existence for over 10 years. The more I thought about it, the more I started to imagine a life without it. For much of this time, this interface has been influencing my decisions, relationships, and overall life in so many more ways than I could even admit to you. And idk man it just made me think.. for the last two years I have built virtually my entire business and brand through instagram. I had my assistant download and save all my reels, and its in the hundreds. I once remade a reel 12 times from scratch becasue the app kept crashing. But I got it through! I have instagram to thank for a lot of the foundation of my audience, clients, and art buyers… as well as the ability to share myself with virtually the whole world. But, in the recent times of my life, just for me persaonlly, I just can’t stop thinking about who I would be without it. Thinking about leaving instagram brings up all sorts of questions and fears… “what if I miss out on something?” “what if no one buys my art anymore?” “what if no one comes to my events?” “what if I can’t meet someone?”… all these things. But to me, it is the presence of these fears that is a reason I feel like I’m making a change… it’s like that’s exactly where they get you… with all this FOMO of varying degrees.

I wanted to change directions for my own health and also I’m just interested in art, writing, experiences, making money, and finding the truth of my life. In a way, I began to feel deeply its insincerity and its illusion. It’s almost a cliche to even say out loud now… but it’s really not all that real in the end. I’m embarking a personal journey to prove to myself that I can change, and that I really try anything I want to. I want to prove to myself that I don’t need to sell all my soul into algorithms, reels, and online “CLOUT” to be happy, successful, at peace, or one bad ass motherfucker. All that is very possible and very available in real life. There is a principle within power dynamics that states to increase your power, you withdraw your presence. I feel like the last two years were my time to be seen all the time. I needed to do that to be where I’m at now. But I’m entering a new realm with different rules. I want my mind to speak for itself now, through my writing and through my art and creations. I’ll still be posting art and on my business page, but I’m just gonna let it down for a second and focus on my art, brand, writing, and my relationships. I want to focus on this blog, as I feel like this isn’t really social media I’m just processing what I think out loud. In essence, I feel like I am transitioning from a width stage, to a depth stage. And this is where it will go down. So… if you’re along for the ride… welcome and thank you. But, without further delay, I wanted to write about my experience in Savannah putting on my first out of town solo art show…

The Summer Outside

I wanted to do a show in Savannah because this city has a total vibe. It’s by the ocean, beautiful architecture, amazing food, drinks, coffee, everything… What I began to appreciate even more was how the businesses were running their shows. It was so creative, and also so folk. It’s hard to describe, but if you ever get the chance to experience Savannah through its creative people… take the opportunity. It is totally unique and beautiful. I am thankful to have met all of you in Savannah, and thank you for accepting and supporting my artwork.

“The Summer Outside” is a new show I put together over the last few months as I was opening my store in Atlanta. A lot of these paintings were created right inside Ponce City Market. I swear this experience is teaching me how to focus and paint anywhere. A lot of these works were created while running my store Blooms Emporium, tending to customers, while people watching me, people asking me “how long it took.” I’m not sure what I was thinking by trying to open a shop and do an art show at the same time… but hey this is how we roll now. It is possible!

The picture I posted is one of the paintings called “Cafe Koi,” which was painted using some espresso from our bar and canvas I spontaneously bought downstairs at Ponce. It is created on canvas using a combination of coffee, sumi ink, liquid acrylic, watercolors, and glitter. If you look close, the glitter has hearts and stars inside it. If you want to see the rest of the works from the show, check them out here. The entire show is on view in the Cobra Room inside the Lone Wolf Lounge in Savannah Georgia until September. So please go check it out yall and tell your friends.

Where There Is A Will

Since this was my first out of town show, I was definitely nervous. I didn’t know what to expect or how everything would be received. I knew that we had to do everything in our power to put on the best show possible. One thing I’m realizing about “trying your best” is that it is the antidote to a lot of regret. I’m looking at it this way now… instead of asking “is this enough” as yourself “is this my best?” I’m realizing for myself that if I do my personal best in everything I do, not matter if it soars or if it is a complete failure, I can rest at peace knowing that the outcome wasn’t up to me. I look at doing everything I can as half of my bargain with the universe. And it meets me there almost every time.

To promote the show, my assistant Sophia and I went around to every neighborhood and business we could on the morning of the show with a flyer that said “ART SHOW TONIGHT AT LONE WOLF LOUNGE.” I got 200 printed and by the end of the day we had a stack of about 50, which means we made contact with 150 people. We put them on cars, bulletins, handed them to people walking around Forsyth Square. I went to art galleries to meet the owners and artists and invited them out to the show as well. By the end of the day, we were inviting people that we had already invited that morning at other places. I believe that personally inviting people to things is the best, and maybe only truly 100% effective way to make a true impression. How I think about it is energy: by putting the amount of effort and energy into promoting and talking with people, you are showing how much you care about what you do, and it is more attractive to people to go see. If you are an artist please consider the idea that your audience and your opportunities will treat you just like you treat yourself. It starts with you. Take the initiative and show the effort, and it will be returned to you. How you treat your own life and the opportunities in your present directly effects the outcome, don’t fall into the trap of thinking otherwise. But anyways, opening night was such a hit… My friend Ryan DJ’ed an incredible set and we had a vibe all night long. Waves of people were coming in, buying prints, and just enjoying themselves. Honestly it was so surreal… just watching it all happen. We did it! We really did it!

The response from the community from the audience to the curators and business owners was all such support. And this is why I f*cks heavy with everyone that was involved because it was a true celebration of craft and art. Just wanting to have a good time and experience real and dope shit.

The next I brought my art class to Savannah for the first time. It was such a special time… it felt like everyone kind of needed it in a way. My goal was to sell 10 tickets my first time and we did! What I realized through this experience was the truth of “where there is a will, there is a way…” and how true it is, you just can never give up! In the classes case, I had sold 6 tickets up to the day of the class, then stayed up late making more reels and sharing more online, and boom we got some more sign ups and 2 walk-ins! I’m seeing it all is a mattering of setting your goal and knocking on the door in as many creative ways as you can until it opens up. There is ALWAYS a way through something if you never give up.

Overall, this was just such a dope experience… One of my dreams is to travel the world as an artist and gather the stories and experience the heartbeat of the world’s people. Everywhere is so unique and there is so much out there to experience. Going to Savannah was my first step into developing this vision. I want to create a way where I can visit cities all over the world and make art inspired by those places, tattoo there and teach art classes. I want to see the world through the eyes of a creator and to be inspired by all that there is out there. Savannah showed me a little more that I CAN do this and that I AM doing this… all I have to do is take care of myself and keep going.

But yes yall thanks for reading my first blog back. I will be blogging once a week for the for seeable future. This is my “social media” now haha. But anyways, I hope it helps and as always thank you for your support.

OH PS!

And just when I thought the weekend couldn’t go any better I got a DM from the Art Director of the JW Marriott Hotel on River St about working together. Here is a picture of the lobby. til next time!

I’m not sure who else feels this way but there is a certain kind of misery that comes with indecision… It’s like different when you don’t know what you want versus when you do know what you want. Like… its worse if you know what you want and dont go for it cause then you don’t have the excuse of not knowing what you want…

There is a certain void that comes with achieving certain things as they only open more questions for me. Things that we are pursuing on our daily basis, that we are told we need…only to find that that’s not really it. I guess this is all part of the growth process in life… trying to find out what we’re really here to do and what really matters at the end of the day… and it’s not what’s going on out here I don’t think.

Clarity

Today I am 16 days sober of drugs and alcohol. I am going through such a deep transformation. I will look back on this time of my life as the moment that I knew exactly which direction to go. I realized that in life, it’s no one’s responsibility to tell you what you want to do. This is work of the soul, this is the great work of life, and it’s up to each person to be honest with themselves and to make a conscious decision on who they want to be. When you’re young you think that you’ll wake up one day and be who you want to be, but that’s just not the truth… You have to work to get there. You need to find the path for yourself. For the most part, culture, media and your “friends” cannot help you.

I don’t know why it is this time for me, it just is. I felt like I needed to quit drinking and smoking because I needed to admit that these patterns in life were putting me in a fog, acting as obstacles in between myself and who I dream to become in deepest part of my soul. I stopped justifying my actions based on my environment and my peers and made a decision for myself. I feel like I have something to prove to myself, that I can be and do anything I set my mind to no matter that anyone else thinks. I am accepting my life’s call. I know who I want to be and though i do not know the details, I know exactly what I need to do to get there.