A Bamboo's Life

I made it out here! 15 hours in the place and 2 buses, we have finally made it back to where my dad lives. He lives in his mother's old house, as she passed away a little over 2 years ago. It's 10PM Taiwan time and 9AM Monday in Georgia, so looks like I am 13 hours ahead in the future. I'll let yall know if anything goes down! The secret to the plane ride is cycles. Mine is Book until bored, movie until bored or til the end whichever comes first, music until tired, sleep as long as you possibly can. I did the cycle about three times and BOOM! we were landing! My dad make our way on the bus and go straight to the house. The house is right in the city so when you go out the front door, everything is right there. We hit the ramen spot right next door and it was delicious! It was one of my favorite places to go last time too. We've been having good conversations. He told me about his siblings and what was going down after his mom died. It's definitely messy and confusing for them, but I was so glad to be in on it. One thing about my childhood was that I never knew about the messy stuff in our family. Things that were happening, things that happened in the past, I didn't know about til basically now. I still don't know a lot of things, but this week I'm finding out! I think they were trying to protect me maybe, but ultimately it left me feeling a very strange but tangible disconnect in my identity. I didn't where who or where I'd come from. We talked excitedly about the plans over the next few weeks. My dad has planned a couple really cool things for us to do, including some sightseeing, and we're going to go pay respects all all my grandparents, who have all died since the last time I was in Taiwan and able to see them.  I am SO tired, so I'm going to go to sleep hoping to beat the jet lag. If you are the praying type - pray for my time with my dad. I need prayers for more fruits of the spirit in our interactions. Things that used to annoy me still do, but I am seeking the LORD to help me walk in peace, understanding and love. Pray that the Lord would open my eyes to a bigger picture in the moments of frustration and that ultimately both my dad and myself would learn how to communicate better and honor each other's boundaries. Thank you guys!

My time in California has come to a close. I haven't cried until I just sat down at the airport. This whole week has been so overwhelming - one of those times that you wish you could stop and look at with a microscope, understanding and absorbing it all. But life moves on and it doesn't care if you go with it. Fighting to be in the moment but also enjoy my memories.  Yesterday we all went to the beach. It is a pilgrimage to go to the beach with the Ketterers. We brought a tent, a table, charcoal grill, 3 surf boards, chairs, boogie boards and Rodee's beach crusin wheelchair/boat. I was dying laughing. I finally had the opportunity to go surfing, something I have heard so much about. I have been so curious about the feeling and the culture that is almost as important as the sport itself. And let me tell you... it did NOT disappoint. I caught two baby waves and stood up on them for a couple of seconds! The waves were really crazy and the currents were a little too strong to enjoy it out there, but I wish I could have tried it a couple more times.  Ivey whipped us up some amazing burgers and I enjoyed watching the kids have a blast. Rodee was having a great time in his wheelchair and we got to go for a little push down the sand. When we got home we had some pizza and got in the healing hot tub once again. This time Dusty joined us from way down in San Diego! Everything was just so wonderful... It is so good for the soul to be around people without any agenda. I think it is the essence of living, to just be and not worry. The ladies watched a movie and the little ones were upstairs. The dogs slept on the couch. The hot tubbed steamed as we laughed about life. Just normal, full, life.   After we got out, we all bombarded Ivey's room because I had to say goodbye. I will cherish this picture forever! We got to pray over Ivey and Michael, I want God to bless them more than anything. They give and give and give to every single person they meet. They've made the way for their amazing children to have a home, and I've seen first hand this week that it's not an easy path, but it is the one with the most meaning. If you want a cookie-cutter, Christmas card, Hallmark movie life... Don't go into the soul saving business.  Michael was telling me about Chase, the middle brother of the three white boys, and how he wanted to be called Chase instead of his real name because he said the old version of him did bad things. Michael said that early on, he had to wrap all of his children in a cocoon of love - a safe place for them to experience their metamorphosis. When we are wrapped up in the love of family, we are safe to become ourselves. We are safe to make mistakes, learn from them, and grow. I really believe that this stop in California was more than just a time with friends, it was time to experience the cocoon for myself. It's really weird, I kept expecting Ivey and Michael to put up boundaries... to say "I'm tired, let's not engage, find something to do..." I found myself being so careful about how I acted or what I said because I think deep in me, I felt like I had to earn my right to be there and to be with their family. But the whole time they just gave their lives for me, took care of me, spoke truth into me, and encouraged and prayed for me. On Thursday, when I dropped Michael off for work, he gave me $60 and said that he wanted me to enjoy myself that day. I kept feeling indebted to them, wondering what I did to earn their love. But I have since had an amazing revelation of what family is: It is a cocoon of love that makes us feel whole and ultimately empowers us to step into the world without fear, because there is always a family to fall back on. It is so timely and just like God to do this: To show me what real love looks like before I go to try to invite my dad into the same love. When the sons of God realize who they are, they are empowered to father everyone around them and show everyone the father's heart. I have a sense that even though my dad raised me physically, I now have the tools to father his heart and to show him the power of Jesus and forgiveness. I understand now why there is so much brokenness in the world, in our friends and our families. It is because we have not yet experienced the Cocoon of family.  I left the house at 6:30 this morning, and Shawn came and hugged me in my room and even helped me bring my suitcase to the car. I had an amazing conversation with my Lyft driver about Jesus and the power of God's love and forgiveness. I am seeing the brokenness in my life being turned for good right in front of my eyes. I'm sitting in LAX now, and am just trying to wrap my head around everything. I feel like a new person. My cracked lens was repaired by Jesus and this family. I went through security and got this text from Michael.  I'll let you use your imagination for the text before that one haha!!! But when I read this I began to cry. Thank you God. Please continue to pray for this time with my father. It is more exciting by the moment, I want Him to meet God. I want full reconciliation and friendship and trust to be restored. We are about to board so I am going to wrap this up. As always, I can't thank you enough for sharing in this with me and taking the time to care. Be full wherever you're at. Taiwan here I come! Love - Andrew

Ivey! Range of feelings There's a game called Use Your I's that Ivey and I played the other evening. In the game you land on certain emotions like "anger, confusion, calm, frustration" and you have to process your feelings of a certain situation  in your life where you felt that way. You begin by saying "I feel..... when.... because. Then I want." It's totally weird because we don't ever do this in real life, and I think it's because we just hate situations that are uncomfortable... and being vulnerable is one of the least comfortable places ever. I think it's ironic that the game says "For ages 5-10," yet 5-10 year olds are better at expressing their true emotions than most adults. Michael and Ivey have really shown me so much about unconditional love this week, and how it is ok to express what is going on in you. Ivey says that by the time I leave their house, she wants me to know how amazing I am. It's been such a hard pill to understand or even swallow because I am so full of crap, but I'm learning that it's God's grace that is powerful within me, not my own holiness, morality, or will. But anyway back to understanding our emotions - Just because we feel tension, doesn't make us terrible people. Being unconditionally loved frees us to express our hurts and expectations without feeling wrong for feeling them. It allows us to understand our weakness and separate our brokenness from our identity. There is a post about Perfectionism that is brewing in me. I think a lot of us don't say what we really feel because we think avoiding confrontation and hard conversations brings peace to people, when in reality hiding in the darkness enslaves ourselves others around us. How come in our churches we don't ever share in the messes and struggles of the people in our own pews? The church is God's hospital, but it's hard to treat symptoms we cannot admit. If we always project the image of perfection, how will anyone ever feel safe to explore and grow in their weakness? Michael, Noah and I had a full time last night, sharing songs, watching America's Got Talent videos on Youtube and talking in the hot tub. I could write a book about things we've talked about, but I think something that has stuck with me that Michael said was that this idea that taking offense makes us part of the problem and not agents of change in the problem. I thought that was profound. Anyone can be offended, but who is strong enough to work through those feelings and ultimately become part of the solution, not the problem? We need to be people who are willing to live open-handedly always asking the cardinal question, "How can I be salt to this situation?" Anyway, here are some photo's from the day! I have had some wonderful time with the crazy boys, playing trampoline, computer games and doing some photo shoots. They are such a gift! They have been such a joy to me, Shawn made me coffee this morning AND made us all eggs and sausage for breakfast. He even gave us a tour of house on instagram and showed us some of hsi sword moves. We have had fun playing Zombies and coolmathgames.com :) I looked up Shawn on google and the meaning in Irish is "A gift." So wonderful. Newport Trampoline time! hidden arcade bar (Santa Ana) Sleepover with Hero Noah Ketterer Photoshoot Shawn <3 Thanks for reading! God Bless.

God has a wonderful way of strengthening us. Every trial is an opportunity to grow and see the faithfulness of God. This is something that I realized just last night as Michael, Noah and I were talking about the process of forgiveness and the journey of growing dependent upon the Lord. I wanted to write this quickly before I forgot, as it was a profound moment for me in realizing the purpose hidden within the struggle of life. For me, my walk with the Lord has looked a lot like a hike through the woods climbing up to an incredible view. I know the full view is there, I'm just not there yet. Every so often there is a clearing in the trees and you can look out and be encouraged at the birds eye view you have of your life or circumstance. It is a clearing in the trees, but there is still mountain to climb. Realizing this has been a clearing moment for me.  Running in mud. If you have found yourself in a trial that has lasted longer than you ever thought one could, if you have begun to lose hope in your victory, if you are getting distracted while you wait for the deliverance. If you feel like you are being brought through the cycle of refinement like a pair of dirty underwear going round and round in the laundry only to find that you're not fully white yet, if your feet are heavy, if it feels like you are running in mud... you have to Keep on running. What choice do we really have? The purpose of your trial is to strengthen and prepare you so that you can sustain the freedom found after the breakthrough comes. Imagine running in wet mud for many years. The resistance becomes the norm. It is awkward, messy and clunky. You are encumbered by your trial, and restricted by your weakness. The mud could be a number of things: our addictions, our deep-rooted fears, the anxieties that don't seem to diminish, our endless battles. But then imagine that after many years of running in mud, the earth dries and becomes solid ground. Imagine the strength in your legs and the capacity of your lungs. Imagine the character forged in you capable of persevering and moving forward. Imagine the shear momentum. Imagine the understanding and the wisdom you would have of your difficult season and how you might could lead others through the same thing. It all has a wonderful purpose and is part of the process of growing designed by God.  At what point will we stop being surprised that life can be difficult? We need to understand that not all the dots will connect on this side of heaven. Even the dots within ourselves. We are not perfect. Even the great apostle Paul cried out, "I do not understand myself,I do the things I don't want to do and I don't do the things I want to do." He felt the weight of the mud. But he also said this: "we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us (Romans 5)." The man understood the journey. From perseverance grows the character, the power, the sustainability, and the lift.  When will the mud turn into solid ground? I don't know, and this will always be a mystery to me. Sometimes miracles happen and the mud dries overnight. Other times, the mud stays for years. There will still be mud when we die. But would  the doubt of God's faithfulness be transformed into great anticipation of freedom and a season of running with strengthened legs. Take heart and believe in the work God is doing amidst the trial. There is so much brokenness within me, and there is so much weakness that has yet to be turned to strength, but maybe in a deeper way than I have ever known, I understand why.

THANK YOU Hey guys... I am truly blown away by your prayers and support. I did the little post on FB and Instagram about the trip and how many have reached out to me, prayed for, and encouraged the journey has humbled me and lit a fire under me at the same time. I was thrilled to see many names on the email list from many different chapters of life - College friends, high school friends, past teachers, extended family, some I have not spoken to in years. There is a verse in Hebrews, one of the most encouraging and beautiful pictures, in chapter 12 where the author writes: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." What a wonderful picture and reminder this has already been- your prayers and kind words, that we are indeed surrounded and cheered on. We encourage each other to run. I've been typing your emails in, growing a little more nervous with each one. While on the phone with my friend Malcolm, I confessed that I was writing to more people than I thought I would, and that this scares me, since this journey will be a very personal one, definitely vulnerable past comfort. Calmly, Mal assured me, "It's good to do things that scare you." FLIGHT ATTENDANT RICHARD Anointed P-NUTS. God has gone before and is leaving me gifts along the way. Already on my flight, I had an encouraging encounter that I believe served as a reminder of God's presence within me and His mysterious ways of setting the table without us knowing. After they passed out the airplane peanuts and cookies, one of the flight attendants comes back down the aisle towards me. I am listening to some of the current mixes of the band I am producing, seeing how our progress sounds on iPhone headphones. I'm bobbing my head to their song "Keyholder," enjoying the song's epic gang vocal hook at the end. The flight attendant stops in front of me and signals that I take my headphones out. He looks at me and says, "I just have to say. You have joy radiating off your face, what are you thinking about?" What he didn't know, and what I had almost forgotten, was that my brother Jake Hagan prayed for radiant joy on my life the day before I left. Anyway, we then starting talking about where I was going and I was able to share my experience with my dad and how important I thought this trip was. He told about his own family and he wished forgiveness could have happened sooner. *There's never a better time than now*. After it all he offered to gift me a drink and about a pound of Southeast airplane peanuts (literally), saying to bring them to my dad. "Who knows, maybe they'll be a good conversation piece with him." I'm open to it. The theme is going to be yes to everything no to the devil.  BROTHER NOAH, MICHAEL, IVEY, P.P. I met this amazing guy in July at worship school named Noah. He lives out here in O.C. and is a rad barista and guitar player. He's only 20, but God has grown a deep will in him. He's like a long lost brother to me. Noah has been my hero. He picked me up from the airport and took me straight to eat Poke (my first time). That blew my mind. Then we went right to Daydream Surf Shop, which was a really cool surf shop/coffee shop. Then we went to watch the sunset on the beach. The sky was one of the most beautiful I had ever see. The kind with the pink firey cotton ball clouds, and It was my first time seeing the Pacific Ocean. After seeing the beach, we make our way over the Michael and Ivey's house, where I'm staying for the week. Michael and Ivey have lived a wild life and continue to walk in youthful faith and obedience. Being around them is so refreshing because, though they have radically walked with God for a long time and have changed many lives, it is clear that their faith is simple. They have managed to avoid the red tape of religion. They managed to remember the point of it all and walk in that narrow vein. I could go on and on about them and Noah. We spent the evening out on the porch, talking with Ivey and the kids, and then when Michael got home, us guys just got to hang in the hot tub and talk. Michael shared the story of his father and his father's father. As you grow up, you begin to realize that each of us comes from a unique environment and situation. Some upbringings are seemingly easier or lighter than others, but not a single one without challenge. It is folly to ever compare. As you grow with God and understand His heart for your life, the issue begins to shift from "I can't believe this happened to me" to "with God, I don't have to repeat this cycle. There is a better way." It's the journey of freedom. I'm going write about the revelation I had in the hot tub about running in mud. But I think that will be a whole post in its own. I think when it comes to freedom in our relationships, the foundation needs to be a grace to release people from being your savior. The reason we grow to resent people is because they have failed to meet our expectations and standards, and we never reconciled the divide. Grace reconciles the divide and releases people from the crushing pressure of your astronomical expectations  of them. We expect people to be our perfect fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters and friends. Let's release each other from that, and as that void is made by removing man from it, we begin to invited God, the father, in.  I am having a wonderful time here so far. I feel God's presence with me and He is really close.  I am loving getting to watch these wonderful friends live a full life and walk with God in the ordinary steps of their every day. It is life-giving. Here are some pictures from the first day. I'll catch up with yall soon! Noah - Hero At the pier Noah - Hero2 AM Surf First Poke Firey Cotton Balls

Still in Spain, have a couple more days here. Currently in Barcelona. I am enjoying the city, food is excellent and the weather is perfect. More than that though, I have loved getting to hang with my mom and sister. We live in Athens, Atlanta and Boston working so it is not every day that we can all be together.  I wanted to write about some thoughts that have been brewing and some thoughts that were provoked by this little piece of street art I spotted in Figueres the other day. This clocked, mashed into our little friend's head here caught my eye and further provoked me to explore these questions I have been asking myself for some while now.  Am I a slave to the clock? Time, feels like to me, the person I never invited to the party. He just shows up and reminds. Always reminds. He reminds us that we have wasted him, that we won't ever have enough of him, and gets us to needlessly worry about capturing him and saving him. He is a helpful guide, but as just as he can help us make order of life, he can also begin to rule us.   I cannot live in the past nor the future. Either of those places are illusions. Living in the past plays out as this: replaying failures and living within them, wishing for life to be the same as it used to be, growing bitter about age and the limitations that come with each additional year, the longing for youth and the negligence of wisdom. Living in the future plays out as this: holding your heart captive, not willing to give it until the perfect scenario arises, always saying "well when I get there, I will..." , living within someone else's story that was never meant for you to live, it is worshipping tomorrow. It is making an idol of the future. It is the anxiety that arises when you think about where you will go next, who you might marry, and what might become of your life. I am not to live in either of these. In the moments when I forfeit the present joy, the present task, to wallow behind or living in the next, I become a slave to the clock. I cannot live in the "what if's" or "when's".  I must learn how to both learn from what's behind and be excited and expectant for the future, while holding both perspectives with open hands, willing to put those hands towards today's plow. Is life being stolen from me in each moment because I am obsessed with overturning stones from my path or anxious about what is beyond the bend? I must learn to let it go, to relinquish control over who gets to write my book. We walked a lot today in Barcelona, and I began to think of this. If you were to try to simply take a path while constantly looking forwards and backwards, it would be impossible to walk. Instead, we are to focus in on every step. To take care to step with direction and grace, enjoying each moment and each view that may be available to us. I'm not talking about living with no direction here, but it's taking the greatest care of how each step is taken, knowing that whatever you are called to be in today's step is the reality of your life. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. What are the opportunities today to live and be light? And are those chances lost because our minds and stuck in what's behind and what's ahead? To live in the past and future is to live in illusion. We can only use the past as a guide and the future as a glint of hope, but neither should ever become our God. Walk by faith, and walk today and nothing else. 

We out here. Made it to Spain. We are staying 3 days in Girona, about 60 miles out from Barcelona in Catalonia. It is beautiful here. The weather has been perfect and the sites as beautiful as you could imagine. We reach the city yesterday afternoon around 3pm, after three flights (one missed flight thanks to me!) and a train. We are 6 hours ahead of the times here, so my brain was urgently telling my body that it had pulled an all nighter to about 8 in the morning. We had been traveling for about 14 hours.  So I think the secret to defeating the jet lag is to force yourself to stay awake until you can go to sleep and knock out until a normal time the next day. So we forced ourselves out of the air bnb and went for a little hike through the city to avoid laying down, and man was it amazing! We stumble upon Catedral De Girona and were able to just walk around all the ancient buildings surrounding the area. We climbed and climbed until we were able to find an amazing view atop what seemed to be an ancient fortress. Weather out is sunny and 70 degrees, sun falling over an ancient spanish city. Praise God! We find a nice little restaurant in town and finish up the day with some calamari, cheese, toast and white wine. We fight til around 6 and them it was time to hit the hay.  Hilarious way to wake up. Set no alarm, slept 14 hours to wake up fresh in the morning. I wake up to the sound my mom yelling my name from the street. I mean YELLING. Our air bnb is 2 floors up from the street, when people talk down there it sounds like they're at the foot of your bed.  "ANZHOOOOOOOOO" (that's how she says it with her accent). I'm still laughing about it. I jolt out of bed. "ANZHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooOO!!!" I open the door and step to the balcony. "ANZHOOOOOOOO AHHHH" hahahahaha. So I'm so disoriented I put on my jeans but forget my shirt, can't find my glasses. I run down to the street and meet her at the door. "I got locked out!" She tells me. So I let her in and boom, we're all up! Turns out she had the keys but just assumed they wouldn't work for some reason!!! hahaha. Anyways we start the day just strolling the streets checking out different shops. We get coffees and croissants for breakfast then hit up Girona Museum of Art. It was quaint, quiet and lovely. I particularly enjoyed the impressionist paintings they had of the town. After that we hit the museum we decide to get lunch. here's our touristy hiccup at lunch: The menu is in spanish with some loosy goose translation. We get an appetizer so my mom and I decide to order something translated to "Pumpkin Cream." Sounds sick and new. My sister gets an amazing looking bread dish with some veggies and fish on it. and when ours comes out in a big bowl with about 5 croutons and 5 pieces of what appears to be fancy bacon bits. I mean BITS. So my mom and I look at each other... Im thinking... "The heeeeehhhh is this..?" She thinking "Thee heeeeehhh is this?" So I assumed its some fancy food thing and assure my mom that it's the pumpkin "cream." I mean Europe right? I start eating my crumbs and start assuring her... " mmm Mom it's good it's supposed to be like this!" "Mom it's really good." In my head I'm thinking "this takes nothing like pumpkin" I get about half way through the croutons and the waitress comes fills the bowl with the soup that is supposed to go in there.... the pumpkin cream. She looks at me now like "The heeeehhh is this?" And then every is like "The heehhhhh!?" We are FOOLS hahah. Anyways lunch is amazing we have pumpkin cream garnished WITH croutons, bake Hake(fish) and a Pistacchio Mousse thing for desert.  Now we're at the pad for Siesta! Taking a few hours to rest and we're going to go to a beer festival here in a little bit!

I am on the way to Spain! Donna's friend is getting hitched out there so Mom decided to take the crew! Mom, Donna and I have connected here in Boston for a few hours of airport prison (layover) and we will be taking off around 5:30 God willing! I am excited for this time with family and a chance to see another part of Europe. I have only heard good things about Barcelona, and I can't wait to be along for the ride. I am obtained a fanny pack for this outing and it has proved to be the MVP of everything thus far. I can get everything I need right from my tummy. Well not from IN my tummy but right next to it ya know.  I am reading "Abbas Child" by Brennan Manning. This book is absolutely life-giving and has been shifting so much of my perspective. This book is Manning's exploration of God's love - the depth and power of a truly unconditional love from the father. I am just in the beginning but I am being really challenged in  my ability to receive the love of God. "Do we let God love us?" With that underlying challenge, Manning has gone on to identity the false self, the imposter, and how we tend to live out of this false identity. We cling to meaning and significance in the external, through praise, success and the approval of others, and so often overlook the most important voice of all - our father's. I am re-reading the chapter entitled "Beloved." It is so much simpler than we ever make it to be. Life. Finding joy. Experiencing peace. Finding God. Nothing we can earn, but only open ourselves up to receive. This is one of many beautiful lines from the book. This one seemed to paint the picture of all of life in a profound way "The ordinary self is the extraordinary self - the inconspicuous nobody who shivers in the cold of winter and sweats in the heat of summer, who wakes up unreconciled to the new day, who sits before a stack of pancakes, weaves through traffic, bangs around in the basement, shops in the supermarket, pulls weeds and rakes up the leaves, makes love and snowballs, flies kites, and listens to the sound of rain on the roof." Are we content with the ordinary self today? To live an extraordinary life, to me, is the live fully in the ordinary. To let God dwell in the every day, trusting that He will make it full and beautiful. There is truly no striving and no pressure to do anything other than just be and be well. To live in this peace releases us from judgment and the rigid grip we have on the world. Our surroundings cease to be a slave of our expectations. The world is filled with color again. Yesterday I was walking through the mall, I was getting a couple things to prepare for our travels. And this whole thing just hit me. It was like a blanket fell on my life. I used to hate going to the mall, I judged it's materialism. But now, I was able to even feel like my trip there was just another normal yet extraordinary part of life. It sounds kinda whack to write... I mean it's just the mall. But for me it signified a radical shift in my heart as I began to live in the ordinary and be fully thankful for the mundane things around me. I think I judged the mall for being basic, wanting everyone in there to "be better" (including myself). But what a wild thing to live in and to even be aware of. As our awareness of our belonging increases, our awareness of the negative and the lack will decrease. As I am diving deep in to the love of the father, I find that I don't have room in my heart to judge or condemn situations, lifestyles or choices. To draw close to God means to be also filled with love. Regardless, I think I was walking by an auntie Anne's pretzel and began to kind of tear up because I felt Jesus walking in the mall with me. It's hard to explain but I felt like He was really for me in the moment, and also for every single person I saw. It was either his presence that moved me or the smell of the cinnamon pretzel bites... but I want to say it was Him. Anyways, they are calling for boarding as I am typing this. 6hr flight into Madrid now and then off to Barcelona. Thanks for reading! 

These are my reflections on the making of "Headwaters." From start to finish. This is my perspective as their producer, friend, and one (of many) of their biggest fans. I believe in why they are making the music they are making, and their hearts behind making this record.  This process is an amazing example how a dream unfolds - every big dream is realized one baby step at a time.  John Busby, Kerri Owens and Collin Smith , now juniors at UGA, are a part of incredible group of young people that I have had the privilege of getting to know over years.  I met each of them briefly their freshman year, and it has been an incredible encouragement and inspiration to watch how they have grown and how God has begun to knit them together as a family and as a creative unit. Last March, Collin began asking me some technical questions about recording music in a living room setting. Their vision was to gather their friends and record some songs they had been writing live. Through a series of events, they were eventually able to come see a session being run at 1093 for our other friends "The Welcome Home." Then we had this thought... "what if we did it here?" Another step taken.  listening room, pc Addison Hicks mixing in The Eagles Nest Rehearsal at 1093 From that point on, they hit the ground running with songwriting and rehearsals. Nothing much happens on my end in the April, just a couple pre production meetings at 1000 Faces Coffee (got to get the good stuff). I continue to brainstorm how to set up the session. On April 29th we record. Full day, set up in the AM, Headwaters rehearsal in the afternoon. Then, we hit record. I am going to skip most of the technical reflections on our process because quite frankly, in this case, it didn't matter that much. The songs were incredible and they had the right heart. It couldn't go wrong. But, basically I tried my best to isolate the sources, chose microphones that would not bleed into each other, and positioned certain figure 8 pattern microphones to take advantage of the null areas in their polar pattern. We were also able to further isolate sources by strategically positioning the Gobo's, which are like movable sound blocking walls. Pretty cool and useful tools. I want to thank Josh Parks and Addison Hicks for their help on the production side of this record. Your help made everything go so smoothly.  saving the truck Quick side story, I almost drove my truck off a wall because the driveway ended at a angle i could not see when backing out of the driveway. Addison was my hero in that scenario, and all these amazing guys.  Fast forwarding: We spend May, June, and July mixing and mastering slowly. Every is traveling and working throughout the summer so we take are time with it. We finish up the masters in August and get together at my apartment to do a final listening. John Busby makes us all amazing coffee on the V60 and we enjoy the finished product together. There is something so special about taking the time and fully appreciate a journey you have been on with people. Especially with making records because it takes so long to do, it's almost like you have climbed this mountain with your friends and you can finally sit, release your breath, and enjoy the view you all worked to get to.  Looking Back: The entire process, to me, was a miracle. Every connection, how smoothly the recording went, the fact that no one hit any wrong notes the whole time, how everything sounded in the end, the amazing relationships and friendships that came of this... It's all such a miracle to me. What I said in the beginning of the post grows and truer and truer with each project that I work on. A dream is not revealed in a day. It's revealed through every "yes" that is said and every small step of faith that is taken towards finishing. John, Kerri and Collin went "yes" all the way from the very beginning. and now look what has come of it! They have created such a beautiful collection of songs for all of us to enjoy. I have been so encouraged by their humility, courage, and purity. They were aware of the temptation to rely on their own strength and were able to overcome and push through on their knees. From the very beginning they surrendered this to God. I truly believe God honored all of us. He honored our desire to make something amazing to be a light in the community. He honored our reliance. He honored the trust. The project was in his hands the whole time.  listening party! Looking forward: I can't wait to see what comes out of Headwaters in the future. But also, if they never did anything again, it would change nothing about what they just accomplished. Worldly success, to me, can be worse than failure for a human heart. It is not inherently bad, I just think we are inherently prone to forget who makes anything possible. Success confuses us, puffs us up and distracts us from the main point. We need to define success as again, the simple "yes." Headwaters has already won not because they gained a record deal, signed a publishing deal, gained followers or fame. They have won because they felt a pull in their hearts, and they stewarded their time, efforts, talents and energy to pursue it in faith. They stepped out their immediate sight and pursued a vision that required faith to achieve. I believe that this heart and this energy behind their music will release others to pursue their dreams in the same way. This whole album and process has been fire under my seat to run my race even better. Guys, I can't say enough good about this. Thanks for trusting me with your dream.  I want to thank John, Kerri and Collin. I want to thank Mark Crafton for capturing the day beautifully. Thanks to Josh Parks and Addison Hicks. Thanks to Philip McClure for giving it art that captured it so well. You guys are amazing. So, without further adieu, here is a link to the record on Spotify. Stream it, save it, share it.  and please, enjoy it deeply. Things will only get better.

A photo of the empty womb (credit mixerman). Paused for a moment. It is Thursday of week 2. We have halted the recording for just a moment. Recording a record is difficult on everyone involved. It is the searching for deep things in you. It involves dreams, ego, pride and many visions and opinions. In my experience, I have found it to be a process that acts as a mirror to reflect what is going on within my own heart. If I am impatient, if I am prideful, if I am lazy, if I am willing to settle for something less than amazing - Recording an album will reveal it. The band is working quite fantastically and we have sprinted through the first 2 weeks. We have most of the skeleton of each song recorded and we are weeks ahead of schedule.  We decided to take a night off Thursday and pray for the album. We prayed to be re-centered, to be filled again with love. It is easy to get lost in doing something and forget why you ever set out to do it in the first place. It's good to revisit your core values and revisit them often. The prayer was so powerful and I felt like God was able to lift some blinders for the band and remind all of us the point of making music.  I always try to remind myself. The process to anything amazing will be filled with difficulty and pressure. That's the price of getting to the view, the hike. So I am not surprised in the slightest that we have run into this. It's just another opportunity to see God move boulders and to be lifted on his wings to victory. The record truly sounds amazing so far and will have such an impact on it's listeners. This weekend I decided to go to the mountains. It was a beautiful day with friends new and old. It was one of the most special days ever, truly. We hiked Mount Yonah, experienced some local wine at Yonah Mountain Vineyards, ate some amazing Chinese food, watched football and even encouraged each other at the end of the day. We were together all day. I love days where you have no where next to go... Those days are good for the soul.  Here's a picture from the top. We'll be back on this soon. 

1:34AM on the morning of September 13 2017 Wrapping up my evening. We have been recording guitars starting at 5PM today. It was a joyful time. Today up to bat is New Realm's other guitarist John Dexter Burch. This is the first electric guitar session in the new Bloom studios space (aka my apartment). We set up the amps in the bathroom and begin. I discover a couple of the amp modelers in Komplete 11... and we are blwon away. The versatility, accuracy and creative workspace are insane. I'll give a screen shot. I love the layout and how they mimic some of the hardware and give hints to certain amp models... Very clever Komplete. Very clever.  JDB in the track. Shoutout Thrill Will chillin Komplete Guitar Rack is amazing We ordered pizza, which is a recording project must. Dominoes > John's it has been decided. I like the dough of Dominos, though John's includes the coveted "Mana" yellow garlic nectar. This will be an ongoing battle within me. Anyways, things are going well. We are moving right along. More guitars tomorrow.   1:30AM, been working on the website since about 11. I get way too OCD about these things. Letters, colors, certain spacings. Sometimes you get to a point and gotta let it rest until the morning. It's been a good day. A really hard day with a couple stones thrown down in front of me, but each is an opportunity to learn how to run a little different. I am blessed and thankful for God, grace and friends to make music with. Let's get some sleep. 

It’s 1:00 AM on the morning of Tuesday September 12th. When a tropical storm occurs, it makes it a little tricker to get things done. Power was doing great today. Spent most of the day getting stuff ready for our Sunday service at Classic City. Got up early, went to the gym, even got to wear a sweater. Amazing. 5:30 hits. Black. We had planned to record guitars at my studio at 6:30. Evan and John Dexter Burch, who will now be referred to as JDB, arrive. We hungry. Attempt at chinese food at Golden Dragon, but due to unforeseen business we try Taco Bell, one of my favorite establishments. Even the bell didn’t ring today. We return home in the dark, empty handed, hearts even emptier. Evan makes us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I check to see if Studio 1093 has power and we decide to take a chance and go there. Power and no internet, which makes it harder but definitely workable. Turns out I couldn't update a program on my computer so we take a little field trip over to neighbor studio Chase Park to bounce down some Pro Tools 10 files to Pro tools 9. Evan and Bobby get restless in the process so Evan makes a bet with Bobby to slap him in the face and record it in slow motion. Bet goes through, Bobby gets slapped in face in slow motion. Bounces finish and we return to 1093 to cut vocals. It was an incredible night. Ended up using a vintage Neumann U67, my favorite vocal mic in history, to cut all of Bobby’s vocal takes for the evening. That thing just sounds right. We go for a couple hours and decide to call it a night. Lovely night of dancing, laughing and making slight fun of each other… love it.  Shoutout to Vern, the MVP studio intern who has been such an incredible help. Thanks also to Holly and Will, other interns who have served the project. They are MVP’s! I’ve gotta go to sleep, it’s bene such a hard day sitting at home. I pray that power comes back to us! Night!