Another week passes by. I am 53 days away from the opening of my solo show, “Blooms Floating World.” I have decided to work on this show in secret. I don’t want anyone to see any of the work until it is complete. It is tough because I love sharing so much process work and I know yall really enjoy seeing how it’s being made as well… but I am discovering that this process for me is going to be very deep and personal for me. Each day, I’m showing up to my canvases and taking a deep look into myself and into my life… expressing how I see and putting 100% of myself into the work. the work is spilling out in such a unique way, I’m learning to let go… to trust myself more and more and more. I’m realizing that there are no wrong answers, only honesty, love and freedom. I think these are the things we are experiencing when we see truly great art… a free mind. an honest mind… expressed into the art. For my show, I’ve been thinking a lot about my intention. Why am I making the art I am making? And what do I hope my audience to take away from my show? I think the answer continues to be refined as I continue to work on my paintings, but I know that I want everyone to feel transported to a new place in a way. I want the show to be a reminder of the many worlds we can travel to just in our own spirit and mind. I want to reach deep and touch the place of pure amazement, inspiration, and bewilderment. I am watching all of the Studio Ghibli movies currently because I am very inspired by the art and the incredible marriage of realism and animation and fantasy that these movies have. It’s the feeling for me, and I’m wanting that same feeling to be felt when everyone steps into that gallery in October.
I am on a trajectory of exponential growth. I am energized and really focused. Sometimes I wonder if I’m “too focussed.” It seems all I think about or care about at this time is the mission I have at hand - to make as much art as I possibly can and to make a positive impact through art on the community around me. I can almost feel myself stretching and growing with each day’s demands and challenges. I am being challenged daily by higher standards for myself and this unyielding desire to reach the next level of my life as a person and as an artist. Humility is turning out to be the most elusive yet most powerful weapon of all. The lower you can go, the more can flow towards you. I’m. starting to believe this as a 100% natural law.
THIS WEEK IN REVIEW
First of all, we got to go see Mike Flo DJ his party called “The High” At the Love Below Speakeasy. It was hidden away in this complex, and we just followed these mysterious arrows until we found ourselves in this little speakeasy with maybe about 20-30 peoples. But man, one of the most amazing DJ sets I’ve ever heard. The sound selections and the sonics… it was just next level. I was mesmerized... in a continual flow of just amazing music. Forever a fan of Mike Flo man… that was super epic to me.
Tattoo
I got to do to some really really enjoyable tattoos this week. One of the most exciting was my first freehand tattoo. By freehand I mean that I was able to execute the tattoo without the stencil, drawing the design right there on the skin and tattooing it on after an outline of red sharpie for the form and black sharpie for the details. I was researching Japanese tatooing and stumbled upon a video called “Life With Shisei” where tattoo master Horiyoshi III describes the philosophy of the Shisei, or the tattoo design. He talks about how, just like life, a whole design is made up of all the little parts and decisions. It is all a sum of all the small parts to make the whole. He compared it to life, how our whole life can be boiled down to the years, which can be boiled down to the month, day, moment, and second. It is the same with the masterful tattoo, which is the sum of all of its hundreds or thousands of lines. I was really moved by this video, further affirming my path and my desires. I watched and began to think about my own art and my own life, and decided I too wanted to pursue something transcendant in my art. That inspired me then to take the risk of doing the freehand peony, because I wanted to access that depth and level of art. I Wanted to be able to flow and further remove the obstacles between the artist and the skin canvas.
I was nervous to do the tattoo, but ultimately I came to the realization that I can’t really be wrong. This came from accepting the path I was on and accepting that I was where I was for a specific reason. This philosophy has been changing my life and unlocking the creative possibilities before me. As a creative, believe me, I understand the struggle. The sinking feeling in your stomach, wondering if your piece is going to be any good, if its going to turn out to be something worthwhile. Wondering if you will be wrong. But what if you starting looking at it different? As if there are no wrong answers, just opportunities to discover and to learn. What if the idea of “mistakes” as a creative is just in your own head, and that the reality is that there are endless options to go from after each decision. This has led me to begin creating out of the idea that there is NO wrong answers, and that the only WRONG thing to do as a creative is to quit. 10/10 times when I push through to finish something I am doubting, it always turns out ok. We just need to get into the discipline of finishing and showing up to your work as often as humanly possible.
But anyways, yes I feel the confidence growing, I feel the focus narrowing. Completing this tattoo was one of the most fulfilling moments for me and is a milestone for me as a tattoo artist. I can’t wait to do it again. check out some photos. Thank you Sarah for letting me do this tattoo!
Class
I also taught my 5th class this week. I am so proud of everyone’s Tigers. Doing this class is one of my favorite things to do… seeing everyone just get to enjoy art and get out of the everyday routine, enjoy some drinks and some creativity. Might be nothing better. Here are some photos from class. My next class will be in september please be on the lookout.
TIGHTENING UP
I’m tightening up and taking names (in my own life haha). I’m taking the names of my vices, old mindsets, old patterns. Everything is in review still. I’m learning to pay attention to my body, my spirit… what is it trying to tell me? What is it calling me towards. I’ve just recently started getting back into the gym and prioritizing my diet and lifestyle more. The life in the arts is amazing, don’t get me wrong, lots of outings, art openings, clubs…. it has been such an amazing experience, but I think life is turning a slight chapter at least for now, and I know that taking care of myself - mind body and spirit - is going to critical for the next chapter of my life. I know it’s coming, I feel it in me, and I’ve heard about it. It is coming, but I’m heeding the warnings and the wisdoms of my mentors and OG’s - make sure you are MENTALLY ready.
I’m getting ready, doing the work, having the awkward conversations with myself and others, believing that it ALL has something to teach me and lead me to. I can feel it, new heights to see, I just want to walk with wisdom to make the most out of this life.
Healing, discipline, intention seem like concepts I feel like I’ve lost touch with over the last few years, but for whatever reason I am being brought back around to them. At the end of the day, aren’t these things actually more important than all the other stuff we think we need? I’m opening up to the process, more willing to let go of that which does not serve me as each day goes by. It’s never perfect by any means, but in a lot of ways I’ve been proud of myself recently too. Only I know the extent of my own decions, down into the deep recesses of my mind, and can say with all honestly I’m starting to like that person I find deep in there. I’m getting to know him, learning to work with him, and learning to forgive him - which I’m seeing now is one of the most important processes one could ever begin.
It is a beautiful time y’all. The art is exploding at my seems. It’s me in full form coming out. All the years and the hours of just trying with everything I’ve had… is coming to bloom. My purpose and direction is becoming clearer, intentions are refining, and to put it most simply, I believe that I’m coming to find a truly true version of myself.
But yeah yall, it’s Monday night, I’m about to dive into the studio and get after it on my paintings. I can’t wait for the world to see. 53 days.
-AB