This is one of my favorite shorts from recent times, taken on a fishing pier off Tybee Island. This is actually a color photograph, and this is what it really looked liked outside. Behind me was a storm that just moments later would descend on the whole island. I remember being particularly drawn to this scene because incredible contrast I could view in the water, almost like night time. I don’t know else to describe it but this photo is such a representation of my life right now…Lights and positions change, more and more truth is revealed.
Still Waters
One of the things that I hate that I’m realizing about myself is that I can be quite impatient. Often times I’m so ready to see something happen, that I’ll race to the outcome and often neglect some steps along the way. I think this comes partly from my “YOLO” way of viewing life… I always feel this subtle pressure to keep creating, to make every moment count… and though this may sound morbid to some of yall, I definitely consider the inevitability and unpredictability of death quite often in my life. It’s like a subtle guiding force, a reminder that my time here is neither as long or as promised as I’d like to think.
Something critical is happening in my life right now. It feels somewhat like a personal transformation, or some sort of revelation or evolution into the next version of who I was supposed to become. I’m being very challenged to question my own life, wondering what parts of it are continuing to serve me, and what parts need to be left in the past. How often are we tempted to remain in or around things that are no longer a true part of our present lives?
When I was in high school, my church group went to a farm and we got to ride ATV’s. That was an amazing day, as we drove all around the farm, having mud fights… a boys dream. I remember particularly when we drove down the hill into an area with a stagnant pool of water. When we drove through it, the most unbelievable stench covered us… as this was a pool of still water that had been dormant for quite some time. All the rotting elements of the environment ended up in this pool, as well as all the built up run off from the surrounding area. I’ll never forget the smell that covered me the rest of the day…I smelled like a sewer all the way until I could go home and take a shower.
This memory sticks with me and reminds me often of the importance of staying in motion in life. Throughout our journey we are tempted and always drawn towards comfort. “comfort” is what awaits us as the reward - for completing a day at the office, for sacrificing so much time and energy for a career, after finally getting the girlfriend… etc. The ironic nature of comfort is that it is the same thing that dulls our edge. It’s almost like the very thing we have always sought is becomes our demise. If we are not vigilant, attentive, and most of all, honest, with ourselves and our environments, we can find ourselves in stagnant water after some time. We may find ourselves in jobs, relationships, and other situations where we cannot recall or find a good reason for their existence in our lives.
Are we willing to be honest with what and who is around us? Are we unwilling to make critical changes in our life our of fear of what others will think? What are the things in your life that you (know deep inside) need to do? Do not let indifference lead you in to the pools of still and rotting water - surrounded by opinions and negative energies of those who have not yet taken their own steps. Set your life into motion and leave these rotting pools… Bet on yourself and who you know you can become, and forget all the rest.
It is imperative in life to make friends with the discomfort of desire. It is this desire that keeps us alive and keeps our spirit alive. We must be weary of dulling our curiosity and our yearning for more with the presence of senseless stimulation and noise. It is important that we continue moving forward, as there are endless depths of life to be discovered. Moving on…
AB